I don't know what's gotten over me lately.

Been feeling crazy in tuition last night, yet super sian during practice today, then got pissy when I got home.

And I used to think that, one could control how one was feeling and not let emotions flood a person, but evidently with this knowledge in mind I've haven't been able to do it.

OH AND HAHA I LOVE MY COM can watch tv here hahaha. :D

*runs off to watch hp3*

Okay back.

Gahhh life isn't good for me. Everything's clashing and I got to choose between all my things that I have to do. SIANN.

OH YES HAAH O COMM <3 I can totaly see why plogs is soo fun. :D



tags
ben haha i got over it didn't i? and yes i'm going to beat you in other subjects except probably music and gp. :D but watch out for that too. :)
kangjie hehehe i love your pictures. :D:D
hongrui haha thanks dude. :) and you should update more you know. :)
josh i did la dude. everything i think about you i think about bryan kum and how you've been classmates with him for 6 YEARS. HAHA omg you can definitely cheer me up there.
xiangying BUDDYYY OMG I FORGOT YOUR BLOG LINK IM SO SORRY. what is it eh :D

No A, but nothing below an E.

I can't say how I felt when I got physics back. It's sort of, a pleasant feeling thinking that I actually didn't do too badly, but knowing that I could have done much better on that day itself, it stung a little.

Life's tough. Got to start working on what I can do well and push for it. Chances and opportunities don't come by often, so carpe diem, I guess?






I can. I can do this.

Labels: reflections

Results, results.

Disappointing as usual. I hope this will be my great wake up call that most rj students need to get them out of their holiday mood and start mugging as hard as they can for the 'A's that are coming up in 2 years.

I haven't actually told my parents about my results, just figured that they have too much to worry about than me not doing well for my tests and exams.

The disappointment came this time, when I actually felt good about doing a paper, and actually got a bad score. I had this feeling more than once, for gp, for math, for music, and for all these subjects i'd totally missed the mark i set for myself and disappointed myself.

It's really, really hard to pick myself up once again. I know cts aren't so important, they're just 15 percent, better now than the major exams, bla bla bla all that talk to make myself feel better and all that bullshit. It's just, I guess no one can really understand how I feel right now.

The feeling of despair, when everything can be done but actually requires A LOT more effort than what has already been invested, what already has been put in. I see my peers doing so much better than I am and yet I complain about how badly I did, when I actually am, or can do better than them, in actual fact.



I really hate that feeling of feeling complacent, feeling good after a test when actually, I've done so badly for the test. Yes, it's probably this feeling that makes me feel so, so bad right now that I actually want to kill myself. I'm serious.

They always say, the good thing about being a pessimist, is that he/she is either always right, or always gets pleasantly surprised. I see no harm in taking a pessimistic view about my results. What's the point of expecting so much from the results that never will be?

Time heals all wounds, and hopefully it can heal this one here.

Mark my words, this time's result is going to be the worse result that I've ever gotten in my entire jc life. I will never, NEVER be getting any result that would be worse than this.







The pain. ><

Labels: exams, reflections

HAHA I CAUGHT THE 6M VIRUS. -.-

Nearly half our class is down with flu, cough, fever. Yeah we've totally got class spirit. :D

Got BCD for math, music, chem so far. HAHA disappointing but I'm definitely going to do better in october. :) Not said with so much conviction but yes I'm definitely going to do better.

I missed chorale outing! But since I was sick and I was fulfilling my social responsibility of not spreading the germs and staying at home to rest I didn't feel so bad. Besides I wouldn't have lasted through the afternoon with my fever and all.

Promos are 1st to 14th october. That's the period of time to watch out for and yes, must start doing better. :D:D




And now we wait for my disappointing physics and gp results. :D

[edit]

daniel yeah haha thanks so much dude. :) i'm definitely going to do better than cts, and YOU. :D
karen haha i supposed i've already replied. thanks so much! i'm going to go from D to A in chem! :D:D
sam you're totally right. :D thanks for tagging, and yes i'll stop mopping over this as you can see there are about 15 smileys in this post. :D:D
fiona thankss mummy <3 i hope the bug goes away fast.

and i hope i get at least C for physics and B for GP. :D

[/edit]

I feel as if, the whole world just crashed down on me.

That's what happens when your expectations are not meant, even if a huge amount of effort has been invested into meeting them.

Math was a disappointment, and so was music.




Argh I feel as if my life is over right now.

Labels: untitled

Back to late nights on the com again.

Well, school starts tmr, and it officially marks the start of term 3 proper where the mad rush of things start all over again. Lessons, lectures, tutorials, pe, and other stuff. Life's going to be a mad rush once more.

and, I just had the best four days of my life with the greatest group of people I could ever be with. :D

B.E.A.T.S. <3 2 more days lets go.

Labels: BEATS

Life is good. :)

Just finished dinner and watching harry potter 1 part 1 on tv so now come to blog.

Had a really eventful time since thursday. :D

Woke up on friday morning, prepared the house for beats stayover and then went to prac at yifan's house. Played metal slug 3, finished the game, practice, came back home for tuition, didnt do a single question (because couldn't be bothered too cts just over im sure do math so fast) then went to macs where everyone were waiting.

Thank you daniel, joel, ian, yishu and yifan for staying over, and guan for coming to my place. :D

Played a little bit of handball when I realised the basketball courts near my place were all booked or out of bounds, so we went to the street soccer court. Then played soccer which I felt really really good because I haven't played soccer in such a long time. :D Then took a walk to cool down, went home showered, slept around 2 plus.

THE NEXT DAY

Woke up around 9, played metal slug 2 on this com, then had beats prac till about 12 before we left for pasta for lunch at j8. Mm I didn't get scammed this time because I'll always remember my sad pasta meal when I first ate at j8. 8 dollars for a plate of hot noodles that I tried to swallow down with water. Stupid. -.-

Then practice practice at secret place, which is something we haven't done in months and makes me feel :D:D:D:D:D when we did so because it really brings back good times that beats had in ri. Then left, came home dinner and here I am.

I must say, this weekend isn't the most spectacular of all the things I could have done in 2 days, but it's definitely spent with a group of people that matter a lot to me in my life, each individual one of them. :) Ben, daniel, joel, kangjie, ian, yifan, yishu and guan. And of course our dear, yuxin. :)

Love spending time with you all. Hopefully beats can go on forever. :)




AND I STILL DREAM OF HAVING MY OWN ACAPPELLA GROUP! :D one that i'll forever stick with and sing and perform for life. Hopefully it'll be you guys. :D

[edit]

i just realised my place is ideal for boy stayovers. i mean like basketball, street soccer, and what not it's just sports when you all come to my place la. sorry girls. :D

[/edit]

Labels: BEATS